Two of the most foreign words in my vocabulary: Alone Time
When was the last time you took a little time for yourself, Mama?
It seems like the words “alone time” are often absent from a mom’s vocabulary. Once you become a mother, there is little to no chance of you having some time for yourself...Or is there?
What it comes down to is having the awareness of knowing what’s important: for your little one(s) and for yourself. The awareness to know that alone time, even if it’s just for a few hours, is crucial to keeping your sanity and sense of self intact. Generally speaking, moms who get a break from daily stresses are happier and more emotionally balanced.
What can we offer if we’re running on empty? How do we take care of our family if we’re not able to take care of ourselves?
It’s easy to get lost in the repetitiveness of routines, and it’s difficult to break away from them from time to time to do the things that can rejuvenate you. I’m with my kids every day — shuttling them to and from school, weekend activities, playdates, making their meals, bathing, tucking them in. Of course my husband and I share our fair share of parental duties, however there is definitely the feeling of indentured servitude towards my kiddos. Don’t get me wrong: I love being part of their everyday lives and their routines. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need an occasional break.
Below is a list of ways to sneak in alone time amidst a hectic schedule, as well as some ways to communicate to your family why it’s important:
Explain your need for alone time to your children. They may be less inclined to freak out as you leave the door if you explain why you need an hour to yourself. You can also discuss activities you’ll do with them upon your return -- it will take the focus off of you leaving, and it will give them something to look forward to.
Leave that #MomGuilt at the door. Being mindful about leaving that #MomGuilt at the door as you leave for an hour or two will help you fully enjoy your solo time. Communicate with your spouse or sitter to only reach out in case of an EMERGENCY.
Alone time @ home: If you can’t get someone to watch the kiddos, that’s okay. Solo time is still attainable! Moms around the world will probably scorn me for recommending this, but putting on a Disney movie for a few hours and making some popcorn for the kiddos is one way to get somewhat of a break. You can even do a weekly movie night where you watch a movie as a family (sometimes I’ll sit on the couch with them and ready a book as they watch).
Alone time out of the home: If you can get 1-3 hours out of the house, here are my favorite things to do: get a manicure, go for a walk, call a friend or family member, go for a run/exercise/yoga, go to Target and buy some crap you don’t need, go to a coffee shop with a sketchbook, go to Sephora and try on some makeup, have a glass of wine with a friend (or just by yourself).
Alone time can also mean social time: Having a sense of community can be extremely healthy for moms that are part of daily routines. Join a book club (even an online one), join a fitness community (there are many online: PIIT, Beachbody, Daily Burn), do a month-long Whole-30 and join a community online that’s doing it at the same time as you. Be proactive in finding communities within your neighborhood: Nextdoor is a great online resource to learn about what’s happening in your area.
Regardless of whatever your “escape” of choice is and how long you take for yourself, it is an escape. And remember: it’s not a luxury -- it’s a necessity. It will help you keep depression & anxiety at bay, be more productive, and grow your relationships outside of your children. Not only will it make you a better parent, but it will also teach your children what taking care of yourself and your mental health looks like -- a skill that young children can definitely benefit from.
